Being off thyroid replacement medication feels like you have been in a car accident. There may not be any visible injuries but every part of you aches. Even your hair. Then there is the brain fuzz. I imagine it was what my grandmother who had Alzheimer felt like. She realized she couldn’t remember. There is a loss of control and things teeter at the edge of recall. It is difficult for most people to understand that you are just not 100%. I look the same. Well almost. I look like the tired-didn’t-comb-my-hair version of me. Although I am able to function everything takes at least fifteen to thirty minutes longer and requires a nap. I will spare you the funnies about Husband having to guide me to the proper vehicle (too many choices), forgetting what year it is (after all it is only March- isn’t it?), forgetting to rinse out my conditioner (I am proud my hair got priority). It is good to have a sense of humor otherwise I would just refuse to get out of bed. And I have done a fair amount of that. This brings me to the out of whack emotions. There aren’t enough emojis to express how I feel. Not to worry because it is quickly passing, unreasonable, amplified emotions. Normal Deanna runs even and we look forward to her return.

I began this week off my thyroid medication and then received two Thyrogen shots to quickly halt my thyroid function. This prepared me for RAI (Radioactive Iodine 1-131). The day before scheduled RAI, I took a tracer and had a bone scan to determine if the iodine will uptake. I have had this treatment three times so there was a possibility that it might not. That is exactly what happened. No uptake. I leave the hospital feeling a bit put out. I felt mentally and physically prepared and the treatment isn’t going to work for me. Time for Plan B. We backpedal and try for the PET scan my insurance refused in December. This time they approve and currently I am awaiting results. This will tell us if there is cancer anywhere else so we can choose how Plan B will play out.

Last week in my small group we talked about the importance of memorizing Scripture. I know it is hard to imagine ever being somewhere that Gods Word is not available when you need it. This week I had 2 scans and for approximately 90 minutes I had to be completely still with only my mind to entertain me -yeah scary. I found comfort in the Scripture I had tucked away. The KJV recall is from childhood, other versions I memorized as an adult and some verses I just get the gist of. Versions or exact words do not matter. I hold to the meaning. Truth that will be with me always, no matter where I am or what I can remember.

In faith, Deanna