This Ain’t My First Quarantine

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I have history. Three quarantines in the last fifteen years. All for health reasons. I remember a weird state of not being able to come and go as I please. Of having to depend upon others to leave me food or necessities. For more than two weeks the telly was my bestie showing me what I was missing. Brilliant ideas popped into my head of how to spend my time. Ideas that always required a little more of something unavailable. So I adapted and stayed put in my newfound reality. My freedom felt lost and there was a glimmer of what it might feel like to be Rapunzel or Sleeping Beauty before the prince.

In the real world constant social activity impacts my day. My quarantines were a huge adjustment and to fill the void I talked. I replaced talking with clients/friends to talking with my Lord. Inevitably it changed the way I pray. No more formal prayers. I just didn’t feel up to it. But talking, yep I could do that! And so I did. We talked about shows on tv, the weather, my friends, food, the news, my health, the state of the wide world, the state of my immediate world, books, relationships, plants, home improvement, goals, my fears, my frustrations. The joys of family, of friendships, of the ability to pray without ceasing.

It was at this time that I gained an understanding of what without ceasing really looked like. How it was actually possible. It wasn’t my constant flow of words or a physical posture. It was my constant knowledge that I was never alone. An awareness that as a Believer I am forever connected to the Creator of the universe. I realized that praying without ceasing is an attitude, a state of mind, a condition of my heart. And this opened up my world in a way I had never imagined. It prepared me for such a time as this.

And so I find myself in quarantine number four. It is in many ways different because it is a self-quarantine. I can come and go, it is just advisable not to. Many businesses are closed and there is a crazy hoarding situation going on. It is a good time to step back and count my blessings. I have many friends and family to check on as well as check on me. I have a home with many projects to fill my time or projects that can wait. I can do without the things that some feel they must stock pile, so I will not cause hardships on others. Right at this moment my needs are met. I am in relationship with a God that speaks and listens without ceasing. I am blessed. My God and I have history.

In Faith, Deanna

Praying Too Much

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Just this week two friends expressed the desire to be more prayerful which inspired some random thoughts on prayer…

 A quick glance at social media and you’ll see all kinds of requests and promises for prayers. It is really astonishing at how quickly you can post a need and have a response. It sure beats the old prayer chain of calling person A who then calls B who in turn calls C. Wonderful if everyone is actually praying….

Have you ever prayed not expecting an answer, but prayed anyway? Guilty. Or prayed so long for someone/something that it turns into a habit without any real expectation? Guilty. Promised someone you would pray for them and didn’t? Guilty. Or prayed for a change that you weren’t really committed to? You know, the commonly prayed help me lose weight but please just let it fall off because I am not really committed to do anything differently. Huh, guilty. Was my words empty, my faith weak or is it really just too difficult to pray correctly…

I remember the first time spiritually mature me prayed for God’s will in a situation. Someone close to me died. That was not how I wanted my prayer answered and my spiritual maturity was revealed to be an illusion. I had prayed for God’s will because that is what I was supposed to pray. I learned that my heart wasn’t quite there yet. It was a tough lesson that took awhile to recover from…

Praying should be the easiest thing we ever do. Like most things spiritual we make it complicated. We want a recipe to confirm we are doing it right. If it doesn’t come out correctly we assume something went wrong. For years I had an old unfortunate oven. Every time I tried to bake something it turned out unpleasant. I almost gave up on baking…

Frequently our long prayed prayers change. We begin to see things differently. Our words cease to focus inward. They begin to look outward and eventually up. I am ever amazed at how prayers involving physical heaping hot coals evolves into a prayer for spiritual salvation. This is the Holy Spirit at His finest. When our hearts change and our situation has not. When it happens so quietly that we can’t pinpoint exactly when the transition occurred…

I have lately experienced much answered prayer. My health is stable. My work is a joy. I can say that life is good. That is when my prayers get more focused on worship and praise. I will always have needs. Always concerns. My heart just has time to reflect and meditate on my Lord. We are called to pray continually. That is a lifestyle I would love to live…

No one this week told me they were praying too much and needed to cut back. Or that they have developed a bad prayer habit and must stop cold turkey. Never have I been asked to participate in a prayer intervention or had to avoid a situation where too much prayer was going on. Like my friends I desire more…

In Faith, Deanna