This Ain’t My First Quarantine

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I have history. Three quarantines in the last fifteen years. All for health reasons. I remember a weird state of not being able to come and go as I please. Of having to depend upon others to leave me food or necessities. For more than two weeks the telly was my bestie showing me what I was missing. Brilliant ideas popped into my head of how to spend my time. Ideas that always required a little more of something unavailable. So I adapted and stayed put in my newfound reality. My freedom felt lost and there was a glimmer of what it might feel like to be Rapunzel or Sleeping Beauty before the prince.

In the real world constant social activity impacts my day. My quarantines were a huge adjustment and to fill the void I talked. I replaced talking with clients/friends to talking with my Lord. Inevitably it changed the way I pray. No more formal prayers. I just didn’t feel up to it. But talking, yep I could do that! And so I did. We talked about shows on tv, the weather, my friends, food, the news, my health, the state of the wide world, the state of my immediate world, books, relationships, plants, home improvement, goals, my fears, my frustrations. The joys of family, of friendships, of the ability to pray without ceasing.

It was at this time that I gained an understanding of what without ceasing really looked like. How it was actually possible. It wasn’t my constant flow of words or a physical posture. It was my constant knowledge that I was never alone. An awareness that as a Believer I am forever connected to the Creator of the universe. I realized that praying without ceasing is an attitude, a state of mind, a condition of my heart. And this opened up my world in a way I had never imagined. It prepared me for such a time as this.

And so I find myself in quarantine number four. It is in many ways different because it is a self-quarantine. I can come and go, it is just advisable not to. Many businesses are closed and there is a crazy hoarding situation going on. It is a good time to step back and count my blessings. I have many friends and family to check on as well as check on me. I have a home with many projects to fill my time or projects that can wait. I can do without the things that some feel they must stock pile, so I will not cause hardships on others. Right at this moment my needs are met. I am in relationship with a God that speaks and listens without ceasing. I am blessed. My God and I have history.

In Faith, Deanna

The Never-Ending Quest To Be In God’s Will

img_7185I haven’t written in awhile. It isn’t that I don’t have anything to say. I am seldom without words. I have been busy. To quote a friend, “I’ve got stuff to do!”.  I have been camping with hubby, to the beach with a girlfriend, training for a new BSF position, working and going to doctor appointments all over the place.  All this while trying to be a good wife, daughter, friend, hairstylist… well, you get the picture. It is much of what each of us is strives to do as we go through life.

After a recent study of  King Solomon’s life I read through the book of Ecclesiastes and feel I am left with much to consider. I could prattle on about eternity but I must admit eternity is not what stood out to me. I know my eternity is secure. It is the daily dealing with this life that are immediate in my heart and take space in my thoughts. The never-ending quest to be in God’s will. Some days it is easy peasy choices that don’t require much thought and little sacrifice. Other days I am left looking upward (surely you do it too) and proclaiming REALLY?! When faced with the unknown I find it best to hold to what I know. My to-dos I know from Ecclesiastes is  “Fear God and keep His commandments” and “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might….”

I will be going to Mayo Clinic in Florida at the end of July to receive a “second” opinion. I feel sort of like the tree in my photo. I was standing in my forest enjoying my view and suddenly a foreign limb transfixed itself into my world. So what will it take to shake off this foreign limb? An earthquake? A storm? A sympathetic wanderer? And so waits the tree, adjusting to reality while quietly hoping for an intervention. Now excuse me I’ve got stuff to do.

In faith, Deanna